Are you a Mother of Dragons?

Choose a name that helps you do hard things. Camino de Santiago

Our Western Scrub Jay is now the California Scrub Jay, because the American Ornithologist’s Union says so. The AOU recently split the former Western Scrub Jay into two species – our West Coast species, now called California Scrub Jays, and the interior Western species newly christened the Woodhouse’s Scrub Jay.

What difference does this name change make to the no-longer Western Scrub Jay? And what does this new name for a common bird have to do with healing, the theme of my recent blog posts?

The jays in my back yard and all over Central Oregon don’t seem to care what name we give them. They’re blissfully unaware, still going about their Scrub Jay business – mostly dive bombing cats and people and other birds, squawking, and searching for food.

You, however, are not a bird. You are a human, with a human brain busy thinking thoughts that create feelings, which lead to actions with consequences. The names you use determine your thoughts, so how you name yourself is vitally important. Names are powerful.

I became firmly convinced of the power of names while walking the Camino de Santiago in 2014. The Camino was hard for me. My feet hurt pretty much constantly. I longed for privacy. And I never felt clean. About 200 miles into the 500 miles my husband and I walked across northern Spain, I read a blog post by my life coach mentor, Martha Beck. Martha describes her practice of giving herself an airport name, much as itinerant travelers give themselves “hobo names.” Martha writes that the hassles of travel become easier to endure when she imagines her airport hobo self enduring the waiting, rushing, and not being in control. Her inner airport hobo only knows airports, so she doesn’t constantly compare airport life to how life should be. Travel becomes a much lighter thing.

So I gave myself a Camino name: Junebug. My new name made a huge difference! It was Junebug whose feet hurt. Junebug who slept in a dorm room with 40 other snoring pilgrims. Junebug who couldn’t quite get clean. Junebug took her suffering more lightly than Barb seemed to be able to. Junebug knew she could do this hard thing, and persisted in walking to Santiago when Barb wanted to bail. All Junebug knows, and all I needed her to know, was how to put one foot in front of the other and find joy in the journey.

Long haul hikers on the Appalachian Trail and the Pacific Crest Trail do something similar. When I queried the American Pilgrims on the Camino Facebook group to ask other pilgrims had given themselves Camino names, I was told in no uncertain terms by several men that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CAMINO NAME. IF THERE WERE, YOU CAN’T GIVE IT TO YOURSELF. YOUR COMPANIONS MUST GIVE YOU YOUR TRAIL NAME. (Not kidding about the caps. They were very firm about the rules.)

I call bullshit. Sweetheart, you can give yourself any name you want. You already are. Ask yourself if the name you call yourself is a good name. A healing name. A holy name. Is that name helping you get where you want to go?

Are you naming yourself “Bad”? “Fat”? “Stupid”? “Lazy”? “Too Old”? Or some other strength-sapping or energy-draining epithet?

Think of the names nuns and monks choose when they take monastic vows – their new names are symbols of their intention to become new people.

Do you want a new name to symbolize and empower your work and the new person you’re becoming? Do you need a new name to help you do hard things? Choose one, and use it.

Name yourself Powerful. Brilliant. Beautiful. Persistent. Strong. Epic. Name yourself Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons. And don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not allowed to. That you have to follow their rules. That you can’t.

Choose a holy name. Choose a healing name. Choose an empowering name. Use that name to remind yourself who you really are. Decide where you want to go, and choose a name that will help you get there.

Names are powerful. Choose well.

Love, Junebug

Photo credit: Jed Holdorph, June 2014 on the Camino de Santiago.

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